The Pickering Post
Monday, 19th November 2018

If you would like to be involved or support the upkeep and further development of this site, it would be very welcome no matter how small.


IN THE END I THINK I'D RATHER BE ME!

Larry Pickering

Four-time Walkley Award winning political commentator and Churchill Fellow, has returned to the fray over concern that the integrity of news dissemination is continually being threatened by a partisan media.

BLOG / FACEBOOK



It’s now okay to be an Aborigine when you’re clearly not, or even be a bloke when you’re clearly a sheila… so bugger it, I want to be a fucking fish! Not forever, just for a day or so while summer is still here.

I always thought it would be great to just cruise in and out of our Reef doing nothing but looking at those beautiful corals, just like all those uni student “marine biologists” from James Cook’s “Centre of Excellence” get to do. 

Then when I morph back into me I could tell everyone there is actually nothing wrong with our Reef.

And then if people don’t believe I was really a fish I could take them to that Human Rights Commission and win a case for piscatorial discrimination, because if I have an inalienable, legal right to be a female Aborigine, why not a harmless fish?

I mean fish don’t cost taxpayers $30 billion a year, do they?.

So, considering I should win that case, I then want to be a girl Aussie Rules player so I can get to reciprocally soap up all the sheilas in the showers after a game (except for that Perkins bird of course) before turning back into a bloke to finish the job.

Then I'll be Bill Shorten for a day! I would ingest 3,500 Laxettes and stay seated on the toilet until I completely disappeared. Or I could be the Queen and sit naked on Turnbull’s face for a while. That’d be good!

And then I’d convince the Queen to get that Meghan Markle girl to agree to be white, so poor old racist Phil wouldn’t have to put up with little black princes and princesses tearing around the palace.

But most of all I want to be me because, a few days before the big C gets me, I have around six people on a list I intend to shoot dead,

…cos I’m determined, one way or another, to leave this joint better than I found it.



Comments

On thing nymylugyj's post proves and that is Larry Pickering believes in free speech. My bloody word it does.

I told my wife we will always come back as something different when we die, she said she would like to come back as a cow. I told her she was not listening.

Love it, God knows I needed a laugh........There is nothing funny about life at the moment. Very few people seem to have sense of humour these days. Thanks Larry

Doctors are drug dealers as they force their patients onto opioids disguised as pain relief until they die . These Doctors deserve death .

Mandrake ?

I like that fish part. Imagine, swimming in the reef looking at those sheilias snorkeling in bikinis.

Its not PC anymore to ''shoot em'',you either have to blow yourself up and or stab them whilst yelling ''Allah Akbar '' ,then you can get away with it, and if anyone criticizes ,they will be called Islamaphobes or muslim bashers !

pretty savage words eh LP, i know u r no saint but thats rough

I woke up this morning feeling like a twenty-one year old - but there wasn't one to be had

Imbreds abound. That's why Phil doesn't want the 3rd world princess running around the palace.

I take it you don’t like Larry and his honesty.

At the end of the day, as we don't have the death penalty, this idea could be expanded.....If you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and need Long-Term Care, but the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you, what do you do? You may opt for Medicare Part G.

The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part G) and one bullet. You may then shoot one worthless politician.
This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head,
central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the health care you need. Need new teeth? No problem.
Need glasses? That’s great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart? They are all covered!
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!
And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can’t afford for you to go into a nursing home.
And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it. And now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes!

Is this a great country or what?
Now that you have solved your senior Long-Term Care problem, enjoy the rest of your week!

Aren't we all Larry now we are in our 70's - but me thinks we are really losing a fighting battle - far too many politicians bureaucrats , hangers on, etc in big government these days, and clearly Turnbull doesn't give a shite - where does that leave us? with the likes of Lambi, Shorten, Di Natale - God help us -

Don’t tell me you stole another man’s wife Olivia.

One a day won't kill you right away. A whole lemon blended with your complan and orange-flavoured Metamucil. Not bad at all. https://www.drugs.com/npp/lemon.html

Only 6 Larry? I'd need a much bigger gun Mate.

Hopefully when we oldies depart this mortal coil none will be reincarnated as staffers in Baaarn’s or Shorten’s office.

Hmmmmm. what shall I be tomorrow?????

Well said. Your sentiments spread wide and far... cheers.. keep smiling...heaven or hell, whatever it is , is in desperate need of some smiling.

Is 'Big C' a Chinese relative of how high? Larry, to paraphrase an old music hall catch phrase "Where's me Avatar'??