If I owned a magic wand I would make every religion that has ever been known to man disappear. Catholicism, Islamism, Protestantism, Judaism, Baptism, those Latter Day Saint whackos, the lot, even the Salvos who have been politicised and hijacked by the money men.
Goooorne! … it would be illegal to practise the symbolic eating of human flesh and the drinking of human blood. It would be illegal to indoctrinate and baptise innocent little kids into horrible fear- and hate-filled occults.
Cathedrals would be turned into art galleries and mosques into council atriums. Treks to Mecca would only be for pop concerts, the Vatican would have a giant garage sale for a month of Sundays and donate the receipts to the poor.
Practising Ramadan would be permissible, but only for the full year.
Popes and Cardinals would have proper jobs on floats at the gay mardi gras with honest day jobs as car salesmen and solicitors.
The clergy would find boring jobs in the ABC promoting global warming, nuns would run phone sex hotlines and do outcalls for frustrated priests, leaving little choirboys free to climb trees and kick footballs.
Muslims caught with their bums in the air would receive instant enemas with fire hoses and Imams and Mullahs would be available for experiments in taxidermy and cadaver decomposition rates.
No more sadistic images of some poor bugger nailed to a cross, no more nonsense about pregnant virgins or 72 unpregnant ones.
Politicians would have to stop asking some old bloke in the sky for advice (which has never worked that well) and start thinking for themselves and prayers to open Parliament would be replaced with dirges like, “Good old Collingwood forever…”.
The increase in global productivity would ensure there are no more financial meltdowns and there would be no reason to hate anything at all,
… except for Collingwood of course.