Those on your Left have hooked you ol' girl… they are in the process of reeling you in and soon you will feel the coup de gras of the gaff and the knife, so stop struggling and accept the inevitable fate of the cannery. There is no escape now.
Those who want you gutted have been feeding media with regular succulent morsels and they will continue doing so until Parliament sits in a couple of weeks.
They have done their homework well and now it’s a drip, drip, waterboarding until you give up. Or it’s a censure motion… oh yes, how well you know that just one week in politics is an awful long time.
You simply can’t chuck 361 Members of the Opposition out of the House, compared to six of your own party, without expecting a savage reprisal. You can’t involve yourself in Party Room politics while claiming impartiality in the Chair.
Only a total cleanskin could withstand the venomous political vendetta planned for you in episodic stage-managed instalments. Maybe it isn't fair… but it’s certainly time to give up.
To claim expenses for an invitation to Sophie’s wedding on the basis of a secret parliamentary engagement the night before is laughable and an insult to all.
If you were a Minister and not the Speaker you might have survived, but to sit in your office watching the Deputy Speaker oversee a censure motion on you, despite it being defeated, would be devastatingly humiliating. Even more so if you returned to the Chair where the humiliation would be daily unbearable .
Uncle Tony will not tap you on the shoulder (you know that) so it’s up to you now.
You must tap Uncle Tony on the shoulder and magnanimously show him that the Party is bigger than you by resigning.
No big deal! You will still be in line for a junior Ministry, but you need to lose the cushiest rort going in the House for an old duck who has studied up on Standing Orders. It's a bloody shame but really it is all your own fault.
Labor’s Tony Burke prefers you to stay, he is sadistically enjoying watching your panicky efforts to throw the hook, so why allow him that pleasure?
Book a chopper over to Uncle Tony's joint, or better still give him a call and show him you're not just a colorful lure!