You would think that religion would be dead by now, given its degree of self harm. But in some quarters it is thriving, despite child abuse, murderous rampages, two-State quandaries, re-siting of embassies, jihadism, a fruit loop Pope, endless Arab Springs/Winters, and governments without morals!
Why then are we celebrating ancient Pagan rabbit-and-egg Spring festivities that have no relationship to Christ? Well, it’s something to do with how we were raised. Christians are as unchangeable as are Muslims and that’s why the Catholic Church wants your children until they are seven and you can do with them what you want after that, they will remain Catholic.
They will have been "branded", told they were “baptised” before they could say the word, and there’s not a damned thing they can do about it! I mean the Catholic Church isn’t interested in running cake shops, but running schools is indispensable to the cause of fashioning young minds in Catholic concrete.
Christ died on a cross, yes okay, but as for the rest of the tale I have no time for the supernatural and although you Christians try to reform me, I promise I won’t try to reform you… mainly because I don’t think Christianity is a bad thing. Nonsense maybe, but a stencil upon which people can conduct their lives. And it has to be better than Islam, because to worship something, anything, is a human need.
Christianity is a pretty dodgy glue that helps societies to adhere to a set of principles. Many will say it’s the Ten Commandments, but that’s definitely not true.
The Jews needed something other than money to worship when Moses shot through
The Ten Commandments were given to Moses and written by the finger of "his God" on two stone tablets, on top of a volcanic Mount Sinai, as the story goes, but these commandments were intended only for the very naughty Jews… they were Mosaic laws and have little relationship to Christ who came along eons later.
Nonetheless, Mohammed was a Johnny-come-lately when compared to Abraham’s ancient Jews, who needed to worship something. I mean every time Moses turned his back they built very expensive, solid gold statues to worship.
Under Mosaic law heaven becomes irrelevant as no-one today would qualify for entry:
Thou shalt not worship any false image! Okay, I guess that includes the Shroud of Turin, (which was carbon-dated to the 15th century) and Collingwood!
Thou shalt keep the Sabbath holy! Gord, is that a Sunday or a Saturday… 'cos Saturday is definitely out if the Swans are playing!
Thou shalt not take the Lord thy God's name in vain! OMG, Moses didn't consider texting acronyms!
Honour your mother and father! Hmmm, your mother and father are never home to honour!
Thou shalt not kill! That counts out all the Germans, Turks, Italians, Yanks and Ruskies (and a few billion Muslims who were never going to make it anyway!)
Thou shalt not commit adultery! Crumbs, poor Barnaby… and anyway, what if your co-adultering staff member is partial to a harmless friendly bonk?
Thou shalt not steal! That counts out the Government, the CBA, the ATO, unions, the Gold Coast City Council and all energy and insurance companies.
Thou shalt not covet your neighbour’s wife! Blimey, what if the little hotty sun bakes topless?
Crikey, "Heaven" must be a near-vacant allotment of ugly sheilas and bonkers blokes!
Christian teachings were a bit different. No eye-for-an-eye laws for the Gentiles, it was “turn the other cheek” stuff and He actually told us to “love our neighbours”… so Moses and Christ were a bit conflicted when it came to the naughty bit rules!
I was indoctrinated as a kid in a very strict religion but it was never my thing as it made me think in a straight jacket so I decided to flick it at eight. The trouble was that, until I was 21, every time I uttered the F bomb I was ducking for cover from an imagined bolt of lightning.
But to be honest, it seems our level of decadence increases as a corollary with the diminution of Christianity. So a belief in the supernatural clearly has some redeeming features.
But not for me, although I still buy Easter eggs and put up a Christmas tree for the kids to decorate every year. Yet none of us actually understands what the hell we are celebrating when we honour Pagan rituals like the Goddess of Spring, Oestra (Easter) and the mid-Winter festival of Saint Nicholas (Santa Claus) …and the blinking tooth fairy.
But who cares, it all seems to give us a feeling of righteous warmth…
which it actually shouldn’t.