This list has been sent to me by a number of readers… here is an edited version:

1. The Australian Financial Review is read by people who actually think they run the country.

2. The Canberra Times is read only by people who make a complete mess of running the country.

3. The Australian is read by people who think they should be running the country, and who are very good at cryptic crossword puzzles.

4. The Sydney Morning Herald is read by inner suburban green Marxist people who dream of running the country but don't really understand anything about it.

5. The Courier Mail is read by people who don’t want to know anything about the country but insist on staying in Queensland only so they can barrack for the Cane Toads.

6. The Age is read by mentally impaired green people who still barrack for Collingwood and have killed their parents so they can attend next year’s Victorian Orphans’ Picnic.

7. The Melbourne Herald Sun is read by people who have no idea who's running the country and don't really care as long as the odd bit of bum and tit is shown.

8. The Sydney Daily Telegraph is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as it reports on inebriated people bonking other inebriated people they really shouldn’t be bonking.

9. The West Australian is read by people in prison who used to run the State and want those out on bail to continue the tradition.

10. The Hobart Mercury is read by people who live off the mainland and are desperate for the Aussie Rules scores and the comics.

11. Crikey is read by pot smoking jobless people who are homosexual, handicapped, or minority feminist atheists who are sexually fluid, and only like Conservative politicians who have lots of unwanted, borrowed money.

12. The Adelaide Advertiser is read under candlelight, by totally blind vegan people in braille, who have nothing better to do while trapped in a line at a supermarket, waiting for the electricity to come back on.

13. The Catholic Weekly is read only by the Pope when he has run out of toilet paper.

14. The Northern Territory Times is read by partially limbed people who recently escaped a crocodile attack, and have just caught a fish that needs wrapping in something!

15. The Guardian is read by mentally constipated people who spend a fortune on Kleenex trying to wipe their arses on it because it can only be read on their Iphones.

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snakenjac
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snakenjac

The Northern Daily Leader is read by people in two minutes!

TonyH
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TonyH

Wow, a response from the man himself. Well done CS.

TonyH
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TonyH

Thanks for adding me to your other post.

Zan Man
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Zan Man

The Sun Herald is read by Lisa Wilkens to support her husband’s inane self importance so she knows what to talk about on the next Weekend Project.

Panda
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Panda

PP and Breitbart in all you need……………….

Panda
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Panda

The fact that the Courier Fail actually wants you to pay for their fake news shite in a joke in itself.

MoreofPoida
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MoreofPoida

I think you and Tony should combine your respective observations. Both your observations are relevant to both rags.

TonyH
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TonyH

Hahahaha!

vecchio
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vecchio

When alimony was referred to as “heart balm”.

vecchio
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vecchio

Who paid her fare?

Jeffbro
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Jeffbro

Actually most newspapers are not read at all, by anyone….they are as much a thing of the past as bakelite phones and black and white tv.

AlterEgo
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AlterEgo

….The Melbourne Herald Sun is read by people who can’t read ……

BlackRoo
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BlackRoo

Ha ha ha, had to ask the news agent for confirmation. Golllllly Geeee.

BlackRoo
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BlackRoo

Sounds and looks like BK. Yaaawwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn.

Vanualevuviti
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Vanualevuviti

Playboy is actually read. I have never met anyone who bought it for the pictures.

igiveup
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igiveup

I have not bought a newspaper in 15 years. All mastheads should start with “Once upon a time” full of fairy tales.

bagman
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bagman

BK reads Crikey

Rubyred
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Rubyred

Try the Bible Blyth!

Chief
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Chief

who reads the pickering post?

GeoffRosan
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GeoffRosan

And who watches what on TV?

Eric Hunt
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Eric Hunt

Well, Larry, to answer your intriguing question above as to “who reads what” . . . it seems that PP poster “blount” may read hands. When he reads tigerpalm’s hands, he gets very jealous seeing the jism thereon. Blount is not sure whether it is of his own doing or tigerpalm’s need for self gratification or whether it may have been derived from one of his other cloned avatars . . . I am sure that blount finds this situation very confusing . . .

TDG
Member
TDG

Why is the media in love with her and her antics. Just a severely ugly slag with a direct line to the ABC and The Australian and they lap it up as “news”.

HappyExpat
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HappyExpat

The Age is for the intellectual elite like elderly school masters and people from Toorak who still travel by tram. It was useful for wrapping up fish and chips until they changed the shape of it.

HappyExpat
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HappyExpat

The Age read by Collingwood supporters? Come on Larry you must be having a lend of us.

HappyExpat
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HappyExpat

Never encountered anybody who buys or reads The Guardian and have never seen it at my newsagent yet every Sunday on “Our” ABC you get these Leftie programmes headed by Barry Whatshisname with a panel that always includes some dill from The Guardian.
Who funds this rag ?

HappyExpat
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HappyExpat

Well she got that right.

aggie
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aggie

Now, “The Phantom”, is TRUE, and should be compulsory reading for all those that can read.
Then both of those people should be made to spread the good news, like in dream Time, Hey Cuz.!

optimist
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optimist

The articles were fully rounded and evenly balanced and rarely contained a lopsided view.

optimist
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optimist

She is always playing the victim race card to hide behind her incompetence to fill out the correct visa application , ensuring that in future border security will be aware of her failure to comply with regulations and her judgemental behaviour towards immigration officials carrying out their job.

blyth
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blyth

Mostly 50% adverts , most of which i put in the bin and the sunday papers are the worst,just rehashed news from Saturday,

blyth
Member
blyth

Funny that , being as 100% of plane bombings , hi jackings , and airport shootings are carried out by Muslims,

JofG
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JofG

Speaking of reading, I’ve just read my credit card statement and it’s just as well I did because apparently I have purchased 2 airline tickets from some obscure Ecuadorian outfit – card now cancelled, awaiting a new one, bloody inconvenient (but necessary).

blyth
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blyth

A bit hard on Adelaide Larry, being as we only have one local newspaper !! now where did i put my white stick!!

Let them eat cake
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Let them eat cake

Wasn’t The Truth Tim Blair’s old haunt?

manfromOZ
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manfromOZ

If she was a straight white male she would not have been so careless.

oldskankhidinginTheShadow
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oldskankhidinginTheShadow

Not unless I had her dentures in the drawer Bwana.

Bwana
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Bwana

With those lips Shadow she would be good for one thing.

Bwana
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Bwana

Who ever covered the hay burners for Packers Bulletin picked the Melb Cup winner to often to be chance.

oldskankhidinginTheShadow
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oldskankhidinginTheShadow

With those lips? Most certainly not straight.

oldskankhidinginTheShadow
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oldskankhidinginTheShadow

Where can I find a fine pair on page 3?

IndlgnantElder
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IndlgnantElder

Thanks Larry…looking forward to it.

chrisk
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chrisk

Well Said Larry, so true, They can count me out in the survey as I can honestly say I have not purchased any news paper for at least 12 years,,, Most articles from what I see mentioned here or read for free on the net are purely a journalists own point of view or that of their editor, totally fabricated.

craigh
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craigh

Now that was a good read!